January 2014

After doing my first blog last month, my dear friend Cheryl Miller said it should be named "my cup runneth over."  I actually thought about that as my life continues to be full of joy.  However, after getting the flu (which was the third time being sick in the last three months, thank you very much), and dealing with so many students in emotional pain, the blog title remains the same. Even if no one else reads this blog, it serves as a reminder of what happened in the past month.

Flu: no one likes getting sick, but if you're going to be sick, I recommend getting sick at the same time as a cute grandson.  Aaron spent two days just hanging out with me and that sure helped me feel better!  We fed the birds together and as we watched the stellar jays come get the peanuts we threw for them, my heart melted every time he decided to open the shell to make it easier for the birds and then called to them, "here birdie.  I have something for you."  How cute is that?

Adventure: My father is 91 years old and loves trains.  He sometimes takes a sleeper train just for the ride.  Two weeks ago he took another train to Albuquerque.  The first time he took a solo train ride he went to San Antonio and when I asked him why San Antonio, his answer was, "because that's where the train goes."  I knew better than to ask him this time why San Antonio but it really does my heart good to know that he still loves adventures and is in good enough health to enjoy them. Mom doesn't feel she can accompany him so she stays home.

Sports:  Even though today is Super Bowl Sunday and it's sacrilegious to say I don't care about it, I continue to enjoy watching amateur sports. I enjoy running the shot clock for our high school teams but now that Ethan (age 6) is playing basketball, that's my new favorite sport.  He made his first basket last week and to see the enjoyment on his face as he fists pumps and then runs down the court so enthusiastically is worth many Super Bowls.

Sarcasm:  Okay, a strange thing to be writing about, but those of you who know me well, know that I really make an effort to hold my tongue.  Inside my head I am incredibly funny but teens don't get my humor...or so I thought! Recently I got a note from a teen who said she enjoys my humor because I am so funny and that my timing is perfect whereas hers falls flat.  Well!  I guess that gives me permission to keep being myself. Take that!

Plays:  Steve and I have season tickets for the Civic Theatre.  We bought two extra tickets so Laura and Ethan could join us for a very good production of "Beauty and the Beast."  Looking over at Ethan on the edge of his seat during the production was definitely worth the price of the tickets.  We took our kids to the theatre when they were young and are happy to help continue the practice with grandkids.

PC Retreats:  Even though I get very exhausted and don't like the lack of sleep during the three day retreats, they are my favorite part of my job. These peer counselors are so eager to learn about themselves and others and the growth in such a short period of time is fun to watch. The students I am given on Friday are different people that I return on Sunday. When people ask me what I teach, I love to say I "teach life" because this is what truly happens at these retreats. Besides where else would people appreciate "I Saw A Bar,"  a game I've been playing since I was in sixth grade.  Yup!  Still playing it.

American Idol:  Okay, so maybe I lose some coolness points here but I really love watching AI.  In fact, it's the prime reason we have cable, as that is the only show I watch.  Last year I fell for Keith Urban but now it's a toss up with Harry Connick, Jr.  He is SO funny!  JLo is classy and Keith Urban is just plain 'ol hot so it's great to watch.  Oh, yeah, and there's some singing in there somewhere as well by some talented people!

Spellcheck:  For those of us old enough to have started on typewriters using white out, automatic spellcheck is a treat.  I especially get a kick out of the ones we don't want.  Last week Sarah and I were texting and I asked her how she's feeling (she's 7 months pregnant) and she told me she was doing fine except for the "bloody Joses" she gets daily.  Oops!  Bloody noses don't sound as cool.

Supportive Parents: There are two things I really dislike about my job:  the death of a student and fundraising.  My job is paid for strictly by generous donations of our community (thanks to no more grants and budget cuts).  Last week three parents met with me to discuss ideas they have for fundraising for me. It is always very humbling but nice to know that there are people out there willing to help me raise money so that I can continue to help kids.

Lynn Evans:  Steve is currently working on the rough draft of the sequel to "Dragon Princess."  The first half is done and is fun.  The second half - not so much.  However, this weekend after spending time together revamping, we are pleased with the new direction of the book.  It's always fun to see Steve (aka Evans) getting excited about the new version!  Now that it's almost Valentine's Day, if you haven't read "The Valentine's Game," let me know and I will get you a copy.  Or of course you could always buy one: www.lynnevansbooks.com. 

Students:  Here is where the glass isn't full:  this past month found me talking to three pregnant teens; some suicidal students; students who are self-harming, including one girl who gave me three very big nasty blades so she wouldn't be tempted; one boy who needs a place to live; and countless others who can't see the beauty they are and see a bright future for themselves. It is hard to look at someone who has so much life ahead and so much to offer who only sees his/her faults.  I believe they will come around and I am thankful I can be one of the people to help hold up that mirror in front of them.

The December Glass

My daughter, Laura Worthen, writes a wonderful monthly blog entitled "Live Like A Kindergartner," which has given me the idea to write monthly blogs also.  When I told her I enjoyed her blog she told me it was mostly for her to write down things that had happened since she no longer journals every night.  I thought it was a great idea so this is my attempt to remember things that have happened in the past month and to remind myself that no matter what happens, the glass is usually full and even when "things happen," that same glass is at least half full.

December is often the craziest month for me, due in a large part, with commitments and procrastinations that I bring on myself.  This month was no exception! The things I don't really want to remember have to do with getting a cold (I have always been so susceptible and colds always seem to bring me down for too many days); being hit by a student with a metal rod (again, partially my fault: I approached a distraught student the wrong way but luckily wasn't hurt more than a bruise); somehow messed up someone's gift for adopt-a-family so had to run to the store to buy last minute gift cards; didn't get out Christmas cards to friends at work in time; and still have a few more letters of recommendation for colleges due on January 1st.  But, hey, this is about the glass being nearly full, so here are the things I loved about December:

Family

I love my family!  Not just my wonderful husband of 35 years who always stands by my side and laughs at my jokes (when I told him I told a student how funny I am in my head, he laughed quite a bit and now it's a standing joke), but also my daughters, sons-in-laws, grandsons, parents, sisters, and other extended members of the family. Sarah and Terence joined us for a week and it seemed that at least once an hour Terence replied, with a big grin on his face, "we're going to have a baby!"  Sarah looks beautiful being six months pregnant and I'm thrilled that they are bringing another grandson into this world.  Living in Marin County, though, means that we will have to do a lot more travelling up north (which regrettably probably means postponing more baseball stadium visits for awhile) and has us wondering how to swing a grandparent condo up in their neck of the woods. 

Ethan and Aaron fortunately live close by and they always bring a genuine smile to my face.  When Laura created a themed dinner (the theme was "heroes and villains" and the twelve family guests were given menus to order three things at a time but didn't know what they were ordering.  For example, if they wanted a plate they had to order "Captain America"), Ethan declared that this was the "funnest dinner ever!"  Aaron, at age three, told me on Thanksgiving that he liked cheesepuffs better than me, but now has changed it to "I like to EAT cheesepuffs better than I'd like to eat you." Well, that's a good thing, right?  Christmas with small children keeps the magic in the holiday.  They got so many gifts that after awhile they didn't want to open any more so that they could play with already opened gifts.  Perhaps we spoil them too much?  Nah, no such thing!

My sister-in-law, Susan, and her husband, Ed, when I asked them where to get straw bales to put in the backyard for an archery range, went not once, but twice, to buy them for me and deliver them to our house. How great is that?

My father, at age 91, is the only one left of his family of five kids.  David Weiss, his nephew and my cousin, brought his beautiful wife and two kids to Southern California from Washington, DC.  My sister Wendy, Mom & Dad, Sarah & Terence, and I were able to meet the Weiss clan for lunch.  While a couple of hours wasn't nearly enough time to spend together, we enjoyed getting reacquainted.  The highlight was probably when my Dad, who doesn't hear well, heard us talking about "mergers" with law firms where David worked in the past.  Only he didn't really hear "mergers" so after a lull in the conversation said "I have a story about burgers!"  While laughing at his story, he didn't realize we were laughing about the change of conversation...afterall he heard "burgers," not "mergers."

Friends 

You know how when you are young you write things like "Best Friends Forever" in yearbooks or on the back of pictures?  Well, I have friends that are living proof of that.  It's always nice to hear from friends at this time of year.  Even though some of them I seldom see, when I get that card I am back to fond memories and it feels like the years have disappeared.

The all time best BFFs, however, are a small group of us:  Cheryl, Brenda, Pam, and Connie.  We tease Connie because she was the latecomer, not moving in until 8th grade, when the rest of us have been friends since 6th grade.  There was a time when circumstances kept us apart but about ten years ago we rediscovered the importance of our longtime friendships and we get together a few times a year. Last Friday Cheryl, Brenda and I attended the funeral of Pam's father. Although it wasn't the ideal time to meet, it's a comfort knowing that your friends will always be there for you. I hope that it gave Pam a little peace having us there!  Brenda gave us her news:  her only daughter is pregnant so she will be moving to Indianapolis in the spring. While we always knew this would happen at some point, it's still sad to know that she will no longer be just two hours away.  I guess our get togethers will be a bit different from now on. With Pam in South Dakota and Brenda in Indiana, it looks like gatherings will no longer be just meeting halfway; sounds like adventures are in our future!

Work

As I'm writing this, I'm entering the second week of our vacation, which I thoroughly enjoy. In December, though, I am always proud of our community (Poway High School).  We have a very mixed economic community and I help coordinate our annual "Adopt-A-Family" program.  The real hero is Cynthia Iliff, who organizes all the gift getting and makes sure that all families have equitable gifts.  I have no idea how many total hours she puts in, but I know it's over 100 hours, and she even puts in close to $1000 of her own money.  She grew up without much so makes sure that nearly 40 families have a better holiday season than she had growing up. She also coerces other angels to donate and shop and they are truly incredible.  Due to confidentiality, she doesn't get to see the looks of gratitude that I see when the parents pick up the gifts for their kids. 

A peer counseling tradition is for alumni to come back during the last week of December.  It is always so much fun to see how my "other kids" have grown up. I am always reminded of why I do the job I do!  Whether it's their first year out of high school or ten years have gone by, these former students make me so proud!

Working with so many incredible kids, I get spoiled at this time of year.  My favorite card started with "I love you.  Not in a creepy way but..."  That made my day!  I get so caught up in trying to get everything done that I didn't have a chance to personally thank all the kids who thought of me at Christmas but it was sure appreciated.  We are still going through all the sweets and enjoying them!

I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many loving people in my life.  Thanks for keeping that glass mostly full!